What's that? A tickle in my throat? Some congestion coming on? Sneezing? Coughing? Sniffling? Aching?
Airborne to the rescue! Airborne and fluids. Airborne and fluids and DayQuil. Airborne and fluids and DayQuil and NyQuil. Airborne and fluids and DayQuil and NyQuil and Ricola.
Whew. Relief. That only took 6 days. Awesome.
But 12 hours later...
Burning throat, burning ears, congested ears, coughing, sneezing, hacking, congested nose, aching, congested lungs, cold sores and so so tired.
MORE Airborne! More DayQuil, NyQuil, DayQuil Severe Cold Formula, NyQuil Severe Cold Formula, ClearQuil, ZQuil, fluids, Halls, Ricola, Tylenol Cold Formula, Tylenol Nighttime Cold Formula, vaporizer at night, Simply Saline, Vitamin C, Vitamin E, Zinc, Delsym, Kleenex, Puffs with lotion, Benedryl, Mucinex, Mucinex D, Mucinex DM, Mucinex Sinus Max, probiotics, prebiotics, antibiotics, (bionic biotics?), warm olive oil in my ear, vinegar in my ear, clove of garlic in my ear, (how about salad dressing in my ear?), chicken soup from a can, chicken soup from mom, hot tea, cold tea, hot tea with honey, anything with honey, decongestants, antihistamines, dextromethorphan hydrobromide, and Sudafed- the real kind that requires photo ID, your address, a promise that you don't have high blood pressure, and interrogation by the FBI in a small room lit by a single light bulb. (Don't worry, it's an LED bulb.)
A visit to urgent care.
That will be $35. THIRTY-FIVE DOLLARS? This is a co-pay, I'm not planning on buying the clinic. I thought the co-pay was $15. Sorry, things have gone up and this is the weekend rate.
(Great. I better get some relief out of this. And if I don't, I want that doctor's otoscope as compensation. It's not like I can get here on a weekday. I have a job. I have to work so the government can take my money and give lower co-pays to the people who don't work.)
So, what seems to be the problem? I've had a cold for 4 weeks and my ear is plugged. I have tried everything to unplug it, short of sticking the vacuum hose on it but the internet said not to do that...
Hmm, yeah, good idea not to do that. May I just take a look in your ear? (Say- that is a nice otoscope. I would have fun with that. Except, you can't look in your own ear with an otoscope.) Hmm... There's no wax (of course, I have very clean ears), looks like the fluid is built up behind the tympanic membrane (that's eardrum for the non-doctors out there and no wonder the whooshing sound of the fluid is so loud.) Do you feel dizzy? No. (Should I?)
I think it is viral, but I'll give you an antibiotic just in case. Also a prescription for some Chlor Trimeton and I recommend a Neti Pot. (Neti Pot? EWWWWWWWW)
Once more from the top, with feeling and e$$ential oil$. ($cam?)
It's been two weeks since I saw the doctor. Not much has changed. I feel less tired, but my left ear is still plugged and I can't seem to get it unplugged. I've even put on my earbuds with some great rock 'n roll to vibrate the fluid out of my ear, to no avail.
I'm not telling you this for sympathy or so you can send me your favorite home remedies, just to let you know why I haven't posted much lately. It's hard to think of what to post when there is so much snot in one's head.
Yes, I should find time to see an ENT. I will. Spring Break is coming up and I will. And if I cough up a lung before that, I'll be sure to donate it to science.
P.S. My blood pressure and oxygen levels are quite good, thanks for asking.