The most requested thing for dinner around here? Noodles. With butter.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

My turn

People everywhere are "self-identifying".  There are men that identify as women, whites that identify as blacks, and I think it is my turn.

Sorry, mom and dad, to do this on such a public forum, but I am coming out of the armoire and self-identifying as a senior citizen.  I realize this will shock you and make you feel old before your time, but it needs to be done.  Besides the obvious reason that many days I just FEEL old, there is one main thing that is driving this decision:

Discounts.

I'm pretty much ready to pay less for movies, restaurants, hotels, groceries, prescriptions, travel, clothes, etc. (And let's not forget what else goes with age... retirement!)

I'm also going to self-identify as being handicapped so I can park in those nifty spots near the door of church, restaurants, etc.  This will make my life so much easier and I really feel it is who I am.

If this works out, I might try self-identifying as "NOT the person who was driving the car when it ran the stop sign, officer."  Or possibly even self-identify as Gotham's most famous crime fighter, Batman.  Hey- have you ever seen me and Batman together at the same time?  No? Ha.  Proof.

If the Republicans don't get an even dozen of candidates to run for president, then I might have to self-identify as "NOT a person who was born in Canada" and put my name on the ticket. How else will I get to meet Donald Trump?

Wow, this self-identifying thing is really great.   Maybe I can talk my kiddo into identifying as a student desperately in need of college grants due to personal hardships.

Don't judge me, people.  It's not like there's a commandment against this or anything.

Thursday, April 30, 2015

I'm not dead yet.

Whew!  Seems like this cold is finally gone!  Flonase did the trick and the fluid is out of my ear, so that is a huge relief!

In other relief, some of the students who were creating so many problems in my classroom have been removed.  One was expelled, one was withdrawn because eventually he stopped attending class, and one is finally on meds so he seems like a different boy.  There is peace in the kingdom.

Don't forget to get your Star Wars swag together- Monday is May the Fourth be With You!!!


Sunday, March 29, 2015

Done!

Done with taxes that is.  Not done with plugged ears.  And now kiddo is all congested.  Good thing that didn't happen during Willy Wonka!

She got to play Grandma Josephina in the play.  You know- the Bucket family is so poor that they only have one bed and all four grandparents spend all their time in the bed- sipping cabbage soup and trying to stay warm.  Josephina is the wife of Grandpa Joe, the one who gets to visit Willy Wonka's factory with Charlie.




And since they needed more Oompa Loompas (from Loompaland), she also played an orange Oompa.



The theater group makes button photos for parents to purchase.  Here are her two:


It was a great time- I didn't do props for this one, I got to do publicity and box office which worked out very well.



We aren't doing a spring play, but we are both tempted to try out for their summer theater which will be Mary Poppins.  Adults get to be in the summer theater.  I always wanted to be Julie Andrews...

Now if we could just get done with this congestion...

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Since January 29

What's that?  A tickle in my throat?  Some congestion coming on?  Sneezing?  Coughing?  Sniffling?  Aching?

Airborne to the rescue!  Airborne and fluids.  Airborne and fluids and DayQuil.  Airborne and fluids and DayQuil and NyQuil.  Airborne and fluids and DayQuil and NyQuil and Ricola.

Whew.  Relief.  That only took 6 days.  Awesome.

But 12 hours later...
Burning throat, burning ears, congested ears, coughing, sneezing, hacking, congested nose, aching, congested lungs, cold sores and so so tired.
MORE Airborne!  More DayQuil, NyQuil, DayQuil Severe Cold Formula, NyQuil Severe Cold Formula, ClearQuil, ZQuil, fluids, Halls, Ricola, Tylenol Cold Formula, Tylenol Nighttime Cold Formula, vaporizer at night, Simply Saline, Vitamin C, Vitamin E, Zinc, Delsym, Kleenex, Puffs with lotion, Benedryl, Mucinex, Mucinex D, Mucinex DM, Mucinex Sinus Max, probiotics, prebiotics, antibiotics, (bionic biotics?), warm olive oil in my ear, vinegar in my ear, clove of garlic in my ear, (how about salad dressing in my ear?),  chicken soup from a can, chicken soup from mom, hot tea, cold tea, hot tea with honey, anything with honey, decongestants, antihistamines, dextromethorphan hydrobromide, and Sudafed- the real kind that requires photo ID, your address, a promise that you don't have high blood pressure, and interrogation by the FBI in a small room lit by a single light bulb. (Don't worry, it's an LED bulb.)

A visit to urgent care.

That will be $35.  THIRTY-FIVE DOLLARS?  This is a co-pay, I'm not planning on buying the clinic.  I thought the co-pay was $15.  Sorry, things have gone up and this is the weekend rate.

(Great.  I better get some relief out of this.  And if I don't, I want that doctor's otoscope as compensation.  It's not like I can get here on a weekday.  I have a job.  I have to work so the government can take my money and give lower co-pays to the people who don't work.)

So, what seems to be the problem?  I've had a cold for 4 weeks and my ear is plugged.  I have tried everything to unplug it, short of sticking the vacuum hose on it but the internet said not to do that...
Hmm, yeah, good idea not to do that.  May I just take a look in your ear? (Say- that is a nice otoscope.  I would have fun with that.  Except, you can't look in your own ear with an otoscope.)  Hmm... There's no wax (of course, I have very clean ears), looks like the fluid is built up behind the tympanic membrane (that's eardrum for the non-doctors out there and no wonder the whooshing sound of the fluid is so loud.) Do you feel dizzy? No. (Should I?)
I think it is viral, but I'll give you an antibiotic just in case.  Also a prescription for some Chlor Trimeton and I recommend a Neti Pot. (Neti Pot?  EWWWWWWWW)

Once more from the top, with feeling and e$$ential oil$. ($cam?)
It's been two weeks since I saw the doctor.  Not much has changed.  I feel less tired, but my left ear is still plugged and I can't seem to get it unplugged.  I've even put on my earbuds with some great rock 'n roll to vibrate the fluid out of my ear, to no avail.

I'm not telling you this for sympathy or so you can send me your favorite home remedies, just to let you know why I haven't posted much lately.  It's hard to think of what to post when there is so much snot in one's head.

Yes, I should find time to see an ENT.  I will.  Spring Break is coming up and I will. And if I cough up a lung before that, I'll be sure to donate it to science.

P.S. My blood pressure and oxygen levels are quite good, thanks for asking.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Happy Valentine's Day!

I really scored big this year.  Not that I teach in order to gain gifts at various seasons, it's just a nice little bonus that I'm willing to share with you now...
(Please keep in mind that in middle school it is rare that students give teachers gifts- especially in public school.)

This was my first Valentine:

Isn't it cute?  This took time and effort and I think it is just adorable. I love the eyes! The student even wrote me a personal note on the back of the pudding cup head.  The giver of this gift was the lovely young lady who informed me the first week of school that I had taught her mom some 23 years ago.

After that I received:
*two small dove chocolate squares from two separate students (no cards attached),
*a store-bought card from one of those boxes of 36 that you buy for a whole class in elementary school that had Elsa, Anna and Olaf hoping I have a magical Valentine's Day (at least it was signed),
*a handwritten sentiment that had been photocopied onto 8 1/2 x 11 paper and opened on the left instead of the right from a student that has math from the teacher next door- not me,
*and a small, red envelope with To: Mrs. Wakeman  on it with my last name scribbled hastily underneath and a generic hand-stamped Happy Valentine's Day card inside with no signature or personalization on it.

I can only imagine what Mrs. Wakeman got.

So that's it!  Can you feel the love?

Monday, February 2, 2015

Ugh

Let's get this straight.  The Patriots didn't defeat the Seahawks yesterday, the Seahawks defeated the Seahawks yesterday.

Oh well, there's always next year.