People everywhere are "self-identifying". There are men that identify as women, whites that identify as blacks, and I think it is my turn.
Sorry, mom and dad, to do this on such a public forum, but I am coming out of the armoire and self-identifying as a senior citizen. I realize this will shock you and make you feel old before your time, but it needs to be done. Besides the obvious reason that many days I just FEEL old, there is one main thing that is driving this decision:
I'm pretty much ready to pay less for movies, restaurants, hotels, groceries, prescriptions, travel, clothes, etc. (And let's not forget what else goes with age... retirement!)
I'm also going to self-identify as being handicapped so I can park in those nifty spots near the door of church, restaurants, etc. This will make my life so much easier and I really feel it is who I am.
If this works out, I might try self-identifying as "NOT the person who was driving the car when it ran the stop sign, officer." Or possibly even self-identify as Gotham's most famous crime fighter, Batman. Hey- have you ever seen me and Batman together at the same time? No? Ha. Proof.
If the Republicans don't get an even dozen of candidates to run for president, then I might have to self-identify as "NOT a person who was born in Canada" and put my name on the ticket. How else will I get to meet Donald Trump?
Wow, this self-identifying thing is really great. Maybe I can talk my kiddo into identifying as a student desperately in need of college grants due to personal hardships.
Don't judge me, people. It's not like there's a commandment against this or anything.