The most requested thing for dinner around here? Noodles. With butter.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

My turn

People everywhere are "self-identifying".  There are men that identify as women, whites that identify as blacks, and I think it is my turn.

Sorry, mom and dad, to do this on such a public forum, but I am coming out of the armoire and self-identifying as a senior citizen.  I realize this will shock you and make you feel old before your time, but it needs to be done.  Besides the obvious reason that many days I just FEEL old, there is one main thing that is driving this decision:

Discounts.

I'm pretty much ready to pay less for movies, restaurants, hotels, groceries, prescriptions, travel, clothes, etc. (And let's not forget what else goes with age... retirement!)

I'm also going to self-identify as being handicapped so I can park in those nifty spots near the door of church, restaurants, etc.  This will make my life so much easier and I really feel it is who I am.

If this works out, I might try self-identifying as "NOT the person who was driving the car when it ran the stop sign, officer."  Or possibly even self-identify as Gotham's most famous crime fighter, Batman.  Hey- have you ever seen me and Batman together at the same time?  No? Ha.  Proof.

If the Republicans don't get an even dozen of candidates to run for president, then I might have to self-identify as "NOT a person who was born in Canada" and put my name on the ticket. How else will I get to meet Donald Trump?

Wow, this self-identifying thing is really great.   Maybe I can talk my kiddo into identifying as a student desperately in need of college grants due to personal hardships.

Don't judge me, people.  It's not like there's a commandment against this or anything.

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