The most requested thing for dinner around here? Noodles. With butter.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

The Sting

Most con games have an elaborate set-up, one that takes planning and very careful timing. This "sting" was not like that. No, the opportunity came to me right out of the blue- dropped in my lap from heaven...

The backstory:
The dog we had a few years ago was crazy. He ruined my carpet- and not in the way you suppose he might ruin a carpet. No... he ATE it. He found the seams that ran between the carpet pieces and he unraveled them and ate the yarn. Not a pretty sight on a berber carpet.
(An even weirder sight later on the lawn...)

Fast forward a few years and we now have laminate floors throughout the downstairs. This means that I do not have to schlep my Very Heavy And Very Powerful Vacuum Cleaner up and down the stairs. I can leave it upstairs where the carpets live (because it is, after all... Very Heavy).

The story:
So, my dear daughter and I went to Bed Bath & Beyond (not to be confused with Infinity & Beyond) to find a smaller vacuum for bare floors.
(Ha- if my floors were bare, I wouldn't need to vacuum them!)

I seriously considered those little robot-vacs that scoot around the room and then recharge themselves automatically. Those are cool, but not exactly inexpensive.

While we strolled through the vacuum section, I read some boxes and weighed the pros and cons of each vacuum- most of the time out loud to my captive audience.

And then it happened.

The gift from heaven.

A voice from the shopping cart rose above the clamor of the store. It asked me the question of all questions, the one that moms everywhere pray to hear...

"Mom?" (in that he-followed-me-home-can-I-keep-him tone.)

"Yes, dear." (somewhat absentmindedly)

"Mom, do you think if we get this vacuum, it could be MINE? I could be the one to use it, and only me?"

Um, what? Did I hear that right? I must have because my heart started pounding and I almost broke into a sweat. The lady in the aisle next to me has hushed her child so she can hear what happens next. I proceed to make the face that shows I am thinking very hard about the question- I really don't want to mess this up...

"Hmmmm. I don't know. I think this is a big machine for a small girl."

The lady in the next aisle has disappeared. Turns out she is doubled over and trying to cover her giggles.

"Puh-leeeeeze, Mom? I'll be careful."

Seriously? She is begging for a vacuum? I gotta milk this...

"Are you sure? I'll have to teach you how it all works..."

"Yes. Yes mom, I am sure. I want my own vacuum."

I give a heavy sigh combined with pursed lips and shoulder shrug (She can't win easily or she won't appreciate it.) The lady in the next aisle is on the floor now.

"Ok, I think this might work... but on one condition."

"What? I promise I'll take care of it and use it. I PROMISE."

"Ok, but this is yours. I can't use it and you can't use mine. Deal?"


As we paid for our purchase, she proudly told the clerk that it was HER vacuum and that I couldn't use it. The clerk gave me a questioning look but I just shrugged and said, "Hey, it's her vacuum. If she wants to vacuum, she can vacuum."

As we left the store, I can't be sure, but I think I heard applause...

She not only does a great job on the downstairs floors, but the hose attachment really helps her when cleaning out the car.


  1. Hey---why don't you try that with new pots and pans---maybe that little voice from the shopping cart will say, "could these be mine---I'll cook dinner every day"!!!! Or maybe a new toilet brush! Heck---I'd get everything new and see if it works!!


  2. I dunno. She's older now, and a tiny bit wiser.

  3. J- not me... this was a gift from heaven!!
    (and possibly the remnants of some long-forgotten psych class.)