Be a teacher, they said...

Be a teacher, they said,

     you are good at explaining things!

Be a teacher, they said,

     you are very smart.

Be a teacher, they said,

     you are creative and good with kids!

Be a teacher, they said,

     you will have a good pension when you retire.

Be a teacher, they said,

     technology will never be able to replace a live person who has a relationship with a class.

What they never said was that some day in the future, while America was sleeping, China would unleash a weapon of war on the world called Covid-19 and education as we know it would be irrevocably changed.

As it turns out, I am not good at explaining things on Zoom.  I'm not even remotely smart with how to assign, assess, or advance my students remotely.  My creativity has gone out the window.  I'm 10 years too young to retire, and technology that I don't fully understand has replaced me.

As a teacher, you always hope to get your students to learn on their own- to make yourself obsolete.
I never thought it would happen to all my students.  All at once.  Overnight.

But wait- it gets worse!

2 years ago, my boss suggested that I become an administrator.  I just finished a two-year Administrator Certificate program at WSU- 1 year of that included an internship.  There are now no jobs available for administrators in the dozen districts within driving distance.  If you thought teachers were useless when there is no school, administrators are more so!

When there are no students, you don't need anyone in charge of discipline.
When enrollment is down and there are fewer teachers, you don't need anyone in charge of evaluating instruction.

Obsolescence squared.

Maybe I could drive for Amazon.  Of course, I'm an excellent driver.

Dear DNA

Dear DNA,
I'm 12% Swedish?  Who knew!?  No wonder I have an affinity for that blue and yellow store...

Dear KitKat

Dear KitKat,

Some things should just NOT be pumpkin spiced...

Gimme a break.

Dear Candidate for public office

Dear Candidate for public office,
I saw your sign at the intersection yesterday and it totally convinced me to vote for you.

Said no one ever.

Dear Y

Dear Y,

Y do I love you?  Let me count the reasons...

Your pool is warmer than the athletic club I belonged to in the past.  Your pool is 25 yards instead of 20 which means fewer flip turns.  Your pool is cleaner than the athletic club's and the locker rooms are nicer.  Your hours fit my schedule better and most importantly, you are one-fourth the cost.

Yay you!

Dear Drivers in my Town

Dear Drivers,

It's called a TURN SIGNAL INDICATOR.  It's located right there on your steering column.  Yup- that thing that sticks out that you never use.
Right.  You can actually communicate with other drivers by pushing the stick up or down to indicate you are about to turn or change lanes.
I know!  Pretty great invention, right?  If used correctly, it might even bring about World Peace.
Ok, ok...  Freeway Peace.
Gotta start somewhere.

Me.